so they say

Maybe they're right, maybe the grass is always greener on the other side. Or maybe hindsight really is 20-20. Most likely, though, change is just plain confusing, and clinging to fleeting stability and idealized pasts is the brain's way to rationalize self-doubt.

The last few (6 or so) months in LA I was antsy. I'd landed in Los Angeles after college pretty comfortably. I'd come home. Found a job. Built a routine. A life. I was happy. Enough. But there was a persistent sneaking unease that I was letting myself down. A year earlier I had grandiose dreams of traveling the world but there I was, living in my parents house, in the city I grew up, with a daily desk job. Still, I'd made the city my own anew, was doing the exact work I'd wanted, and was surrounded by those I loved.

Alas, I needed to give something else a shot. As much I do so love LA, I was restless, with one foot out the door.

Contrary (hypocritically even?) to what I've always thought I felt about the whole LA vs NY debate...here I am now. New York City. Sure, it's no Tangier or Istanbul or Belem. But it's a whole new place for me. And I'm giving it a shot.

Of course these last 3 weeks have been riddled with confusion, uncertainty, and (surprise) near paralyzing self-doubt...maybe I was right from the start and this city's not for me.

But maybe not. Maybe most important after all....nothing ventured nothing gained?

Some wise encouragement from my mother: