ny vs. la

Pretty much all of my friends from college are from New York. New York City. Manhattan.

Yeah, that's an exaggeration, but it sure felt like that. After freshman year there was even a pretty popular facebook group entitled "No, you effing ignoramous, Washington University is in New York"....a play on the pain that it is to endlessly have to explain that our college, despite its name and apparently common logic, is in St. Louis, yeah, Missouri.

And, whatever, I'm all for "The City", I've never had any steadfast LA pride. To be fair, I was born in New York. I didn't move to the west coast until I was 11. Nevertheless, the memory-laden, identity-forming, experience-heavy, adult(?)-half of my life has been in Los Angeles. There are remnants of my roots, sure - my Dad and brother ingrained a sort of default loyalty to the Yankees, Giants, Knicks, and Rangers.....but I'm pretty sure that's the height of it.

I've never been one to argue the virtues of LA though, either. I was pretty bummed as a kid to move here. With some time I got used to it, learned to love it even. But I was sure I wasn't going to be here for any sort of long haul. I needed to go to college far enough away that I'd be guaranteed a little snow and a reprieve from the saturating superficial. After college? I had no answers to any what/where/when, only that come May '09, I didn't want to be back in LA. I needed a change. I didn't think this city would stimulate me any more. Alas, here I am.

And it only continues to grow on me.

But I'm not about to fight you over it.

New Yorkers, though, their hometown pride borders on aggressive. Two of my buddies visited me one summer and spent half the time they were here making comparisons. Enlightening me as to why NY is that much better than LA. Where's the city? We have to get in the car again? Everything moves so slowly. In New York we'd never have to wait this long. Why can't anyone here make a decision?

I can understand that for those who've lived in a typical city all their lives, LA is a hard thing to wrap your mind around. The concept of a city that stretches as far as you can see, composed of various isolated commercial city centers, however many suburban areas, and who

knows what else in between, is pretty wild for someone used to a 22 mile condensed urban island.

Maybe that's where my problem is. In my experience, Los Angelenos are pretty relaxed. Perhaps to a fault, I don't really know. I listened to those guys complain for two days without much in the way of defense. I spoke my mind, but I'm not going to stress about showing them better or worse. In the end, their intense, antagonistic need to convince me of my err in judgement only proved my suspicions. It's an attitude that's hard for me to wrap my mind around.

My theory is: it's such a crowded, bustling, fast-paced city where people are constantly on top of one another that people are fiercely defensive of that little personal space they have. That leaves people more guarded than polite and more abrasive then friendly. In LA, we are all about spreading out. We spend hours alone in our cars, our individual little space bubbles. Maybe we're starved for personal interaction, resulting in fake warmth and forced sociability.

I'm sure that's too extreme, but it makes a little sense to me. I don't know which is right or wrong, and why does it matter? Probably doesn't.

I guess I'm trying to justify still being in LA 9 months after graduation. I have to rationalize it every now and then, because why should I be confident about any decision I've made since college?

photos by Alwyn Loh